Rozchod v podob\u011b digit\u00e1ln\u00edho zmizen\u00ed\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
V\u00edtejte v \u00e9\u0159e ghostingu, kde u\u017e nev\u00e1h\u00e1me p\u0159edst\u00edrat smrt za obrazovkami a nech\u00e1v\u00e1me se bez vysv\u011btlen\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anal\u00fdza nov\u00e9 romantick\u00e9 poruchy. P\u0159ej\u00edt na reklamu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
V 90. letech byla preferovanou v\u00fdmluvou pro rozchod, kter\u00e1 se zhmotnila v tehdej\u0161\u00edch televizn\u00edch seri\u00e1lech,: \u201eNebyl jsi to ty, byl jsem to j\u00e1.\u201c V roce 2015 vstoupil na romantickou sc\u00e9nu ghosting a\u2026 prav\u00fd opak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tento neologismus, kter\u00fd p\u0159evzal den\u00edk The New York Times, zt\u011bles\u0148uje my\u0161lenku trval\u00e9ho p\u0159eru\u0161en\u00ed vztah\u016f s ned\u00e1vnou nebo dlouhodobou l\u00e1skou zorganizov\u00e1n\u00edm vlastn\u00edho zmizen\u00ed, fyzick\u00e9ho i virtu\u00e1ln\u00edho, bez varov\u00e1n\u00ed. Den p\u0159edt\u00edm jste zamilovan\u00ed; den pot\u00e9 p\u0159estanete odpov\u00eddat na textov\u00e9 zpr\u00e1vy a e-maily. Odpov\u00edd\u00e1te si navz\u00e1jem na telefon\u00e1ty, i kdyby to znamenalo zalo\u017eit si nov\u00fd facebookov\u00fd \u00fa\u010det, a \u017eivot jde d\u00e1l.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zpravodaj spole\u010dnosti<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u017deny tak\u00e9\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
V dob\u011b, kdy na Tinderu swipeme doleva, abychom dali lajk n\u00e1padn\u00edk\u016fm, kdy \u010dasto sp\u00edme s lidmi je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159edt\u00edm, ne\u017e si v\u016fbec uv\u011bdom\u00edme, jestli jsme oddan\u00ed vztahu, kdy vztahy za\u010d\u00ednaj\u00ed textov\u00fdmi zpr\u00e1vami sp\u00ed\u0161e ne\u017e telefon\u00e1ty nebo osobn\u00edm setk\u00e1n\u00edm, se zd\u00e1 logick\u00e9 a p\u0159ijateln\u00e9 n\u011bkoho tak snadno odepsat a chr\u00e1nit se pomoc\u00ed digit\u00e1ln\u00edch n\u00e1stroj\u016f. Zat\u00edmco pre-ghosting byl v minul\u00e9m stolet\u00ed b\u011b\u017enou mu\u017eskou taktikou (\u0161el si pro cigarety…), odhaduje se, \u017ee \u017eeny, unaven\u00e9 emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed setrva\u010dnost\u00ed, n\u00e1hle miz\u00ed v pom\u011bru 23 % ve srovn\u00e1n\u00ed se 17 % mu\u017e\u016f (Elle US).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Spole\u010dnost pot\u011b\u0161en\u00ed<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u011blo by to korelovat s na\u0161\u00edm chov\u00e1n\u00edm ve vztaz\u00edch ve virtu\u00e1ln\u00edm v\u011bku, kde komunikujeme v\u00edce, ale \u0161patn\u011b? Mohlo by ghosting skute\u010dn\u011b odr\u00e1\u017eet sn\u00ed\u017een\u00e1 romantick\u00e1 o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed? \u201eZmizen\u00ed existovalo v\u017edycky, ale lid\u00e9 st\u00e1le t\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00ed zvl\u00e1daj\u00ed emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed, bolestiv\u00e9 rozhovory,\u201c \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 Lisa Letessierov\u00e1, psycholo\u017eka specializuj\u00edc\u00ed se na behavior\u00e1ln\u00ed terapii a autorka knihy \u201eLa Rupture amoureuse\u201c (Odile Jacob). \u201eA proto\u017ee \u017eijeme ve spole\u010dnosti \u0159\u00edzen\u00e9 pot\u011b\u0161en\u00edm, lid\u00e9 si \u010dasto pletou \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed s h\u00e9donismem. Chceme b\u00fdt \u0161\u0165astn\u00ed, tak\u017ee mus\u00edme eliminovat i ta nejmen\u0161\u00ed omezen\u00ed. Jakmile se tedy ve vztahu n\u011bco pokaz\u00ed, zbav\u00edme se toho. To je modern\u00ed paradox l\u00e1sky: chceme vztah budovat, ale nevkl\u00e1d\u00e1me energii do jeho rozvoje.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zbab\u011blost, nebo paradoxn\u00ed empatie?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sabrina, s jej\u00edm\u017e partnerem se pl\u00e1novala nast\u011bhovat a m\u00edt d\u00edt\u011b, v n\u00ed zanechala ho\u0159kou pachu\u0165: \u201e\u010cekal, a\u017e budu na slu\u017eebn\u00ed cest\u011b, aby mi poslal stru\u010dnou zpr\u00e1vu o rozchodu, a pak… u\u017e jsme se nekontaktovali. Nechal m\u011b v naprost\u00e9 pr\u00e1zdnot\u011b. Nesla jsem to velmi t\u011b\u017ece. M\u011bla jsem chaos v hlav\u011b.\u201c Ale pro\u010d ho ignorovat? Byla to zbab\u011blost, nebo paradoxn\u00ed empatie motivovan\u00e1 strachem ze zp\u016fsoben\u00ed bolesti? \u201eKdy\u017e jsem ho ignorovala, za\u010dalo to detailem, kter\u00fd se mi na druh\u00e9m \u010dlov\u011bku nel\u00edbil, ale b\u00e1la jsem se, \u017ee budu p\u016fsobit povrchn\u011b, tak\u017ee jsem p\u0159estala odpov\u00eddat na jeho hovory,\u201c \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 Fanny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Strach ze z\u00e1vazk\u016f<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Arnaud systematicky ignoroval pr\u00e1v\u011b toto v\u011bdom\u00ed toho, co naz\u00fdv\u00e1 \u201eneur\u00f3zou odchodu\u201c: \u201e\u010casto se opakuje stejn\u00fd vzorec: Potk\u00e1m d\u00edvku, pak ji o p\u00e1r dn\u00ed znovu uvid\u00edm, nev\u00edm, jestli s n\u00ed opravdu chci b\u00fdt, a skon\u010d\u00edm ve vztahu, se kter\u00fdm jsem od za\u010d\u00e1tku necht\u011bl b\u00fdt.\u201c Existuje mezi v\u0161emi t\u011bmito lidmi, kte\u0159\u00ed pou\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed tuto pasivn\u011b-agresivn\u00ed metodu, n\u011bco spole\u010dn\u00e9ho, \u200b\u200bmimo omezen\u00ed na\u0161\u00ed spole\u010dnosti, kde mnoz\u00ed bojuj\u00ed s up\u0159\u00edmnou komunikac\u00ed? \u201ePro m\u011b to nen\u00ed zbab\u011blost; je to sp\u00ed\u0161e zn\u00e1mka \u201avyh\u00fdbav\u00e9\u2018 osobnosti, kter\u00e1 se vyh\u00fdb\u00e1 konflikt\u016fm a emocion\u00e1ln\u011b nabit\u00fdm diskus\u00edm,\u201c pokra\u010duje Lisa Letessier. \u201eAle m\u016f\u017eeme tak\u00e9 shrnout do jedn\u00e9 skupiny lidi, kte\u0159\u00ed se boj\u00ed z\u00e1vazk\u016f…\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rostouc\u00ed pocit odm\u00edtnut\u00ed<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zvr\u00e1cen\u00fdm d\u016fsledkem tohoto jevu je, \u017ee v dob\u011b, kdy jsme v\u0161ichni propojeni, se \u010dlov\u011bk, kter\u00fd p\u0159edst\u00edr\u00e1, \u017ee je mrtv\u00fd, aby ohl\u00e1sil konec p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhu, zd\u00e1 odm\u00edtnut\u00e9mu \u010dlov\u011bku velmi \u017eiv\u00fd! To zesiluje pocit odm\u00edtnut\u00ed a br\u00e1n\u00ed mu v truchlen\u00ed nad vztahem: \u201eKdy\u017e je opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk informov\u00e1n Facebookem, nap\u0159\u00edklad objeven\u00edm fotografi\u00ed sv\u00e9ho b\u00fdval\u00e9ho partnera s n\u011bk\u00fdm jin\u00fdm, je to neuv\u011b\u0159iteln\u011b brut\u00e1ln\u00ed. M\u016f\u017ee to vyvolat obsedantn\u00ed chov\u00e1n\u00ed. \u0160pion\u00e1\u017e, \u010dek\u00e1n\u00ed na n\u011bj p\u0159ed bytem nebo v pr\u00e1ci, kontrola Facebooku v\u00edce ne\u017e pades\u00e1tkr\u00e1t denn\u011b, aktualizace e-mail\u016f, n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvy p\u0159\u00e1tel a rodiny… Opu\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed lid\u00e9 jsou pod tak intenzivn\u00edm emocion\u00e1ln\u00edm stresem, \u017ee se sna\u017e\u00ed naj\u00edt cokoli, co by ho spojilo se ztracen\u00fdm partnerem a pochopilo, co se stalo,\u201c vysv\u011btluje psycholo\u017eka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vliv soci\u00e1ln\u00edch m\u00e9di\u00ed<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Psychoterapeutka Elisabeth Joy LaMotte poukazuje na soci\u00e1ln\u00ed m\u00e9dia: \u201eTechnologie zes\u00edlila na\u0161i<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tendence k ghostingu. Facebook, Twitter a Instagram usnad\u0148uj\u00ed sd\u00edlen\u00ed intimn\u00edch detail\u016f s ostatn\u00edmi. Z\u00e1rove\u0148 tr\u00e1v\u00edme m\u00e9n\u011b \u010dasu osobn\u00ed komunikac\u00ed v na\u0161ich nejintimn\u011bj\u0161\u00edch vztaz\u00edch ne\u017e kdykoli p\u0159edt\u00edm. Nejlep\u0161\u00ed rada, pokud jste byli po rozchodu ghostingov\u00e1ni? Vezm\u011bte si inspiraci z 90. let a poslechn\u011bte si Mirandu ze seri\u00e1lu \u201eSex ve m\u011bst\u011b\u201c, kter\u00e1 v epizod\u011b v\u011bnovan\u00e9 tomuto citliv\u00e9mu t\u00e9matu vysv\u011btlila sv\u00fdm p\u0159\u00e1tel\u016fm, \u017ee si v dan\u00e9 situaci jednodu\u0161e \u0159ekla, \u017ee ten chlap je opravdu mrtv\u00fd! A \u0161la d\u00e1l.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Rozchod v podob\u011b digit\u00e1ln\u00edho zmizen\u00ed\u2026 V\u00edtejte v \u00e9\u0159e ghostingu, kde u\u017e nev\u00e1h\u00e1me p\u0159edst\u00edrat smrt za obrazovkami a nech\u00e1v\u00e1me se bez vysv\u011btlen\u00ed. Anal\u00fdza nov\u00e9 \n [...]<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3406,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3405"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3407,"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405\/revisions\/3407"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fakt24.biz.ua\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}